I want to talk about something that affects us all:...
February 9, 2020
The illusion of happiness
Thought experiment
Consider if you will, that happiness is a skill. Even though we know it to be an emotion, think of it as a skill that could be practiced. Imagine where you would be, if for ten minutes a day, you practiced developing the skill of happiness in every task you did.
The happiness illusion
We’ve all heard of someone who has a great job, a great house, take holiday’s all over the place, and has the perfect life. Are still happy? They seem it. But are they? Would you agree if I said, a person can have everything and still be unhappy? Success, or an accumulation of stuff, does not guarantee happiness, no matter how much we strive for the pursuit of happiness.
Other side of the coin
Let put happiness to one side and define success. I accept that your success may not be the same as mine, but very simply put, let’s say that feeling of success are found in an achievement that is pleasurable.
Go inside and ask
Ask yourself, when going about your day, what is it about this task drive you to complete it? What exactly about it that gives you pleasure? What sense of purpose does this give me? If you’re not happy with the answer, do something else until you are. You and you alone are responsible for your happiness. Nobody else. Someone else may share an experience that makes you both happy, but that’s not the same thing. Sharing is not making.
Solution
Practice happiness daily and watch your world change. Practice it like just another pastime that you enjoy.
Imagine
You’re out for the day, heading off to the coast for seaside fish and chips with lashings of salt and vinegar. Windows down and the music blasting out. Once at the coast, off comes the top and you’re skimming pebbles into the sea as you dip your toes in. Summer does not have to be here for you to imagine that your at the beach, especially as we head into winter.
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It is a fact that as humans we have to work at being happy..it is not something humans are programmed to be..Survival is in our DNA..so to be happy we have to set our mind to being happy and set our intent for the day..Sounds annoying dosent it, things happen in our day to hinder us, frustrate us. make us late. If we are in pain, anxious, hate our job , no money, these can lead us to be unhappy. So the cycle begins.. Its about training your thoughts, being in the moment, trying not to let the cycle get to you..I found this very difficult living in the moment..enjoying the moment..I was wishing my day, my life away to get to the next moment..the next moment dosent exist until you get there. So being in the moment, not easy, its impossible to be happy all the time..but maybe smile at someone and make their day.. if they dont smile back its fine you sent the intent out there its a start..if you feel miserable, peed off allow yourself to feel it, give your self time to process it..Last year I lost a lot of money on an event due to torrential rain. All day I smiled and held it together
in debt, Devistated emotionally, financially and Physically, 6 months work and I now owed a lot money, I got home collapsed in heap..cried..felt every emotion possible..after a few hours I thought right this is going to crush me and make me bitter…right I am going to give myself 2 days to cry this out..get the energy out of my body..I struggled for a week but allowed thr feelings to be there but not as strong…if i felt my mind taking the road of the depths again I focused on stopping it over whelm me again..this was supposed to get me out of the job I hate..now I have to stay and pay more money off ..it seemed endless…so I changed my thought process..battling inside with poor me..its not fair, why is it always me who suffers.
RIGHT…here goes…mind over matter..I got a credit card which I hated doing and payed everything off ..Resigned myself to knowing that it is going to take 2 years to pay this off ..Dont get me wrong if I allow myself to think about it..i can quickly goe back to the feelings and anger…so I have a chat with myself..its happened..you cant change it…you have to pay it..it is what is is..do you except it or do you allow it to consume you again..Coming back to working at being happy..what is happy..its our conception of being happy..of being in the moment..being in the moment of allowing yourelf to feel sad .angry annoyed irritated but allowing ourselves that moment of when to come to terms with those feelings and emotions..they maybe in the background lurking..but as an individual you decide how and how long you are going to allow the energy to consume you.. We cant change the event but we can change the energy around the event..also how it affects us… I pay a direct debit every month for my debt..does it smart still..yes..but it is what it is and it will goe away.. I cant change it…I dont allow to consume me… Working at being happy…still on it but its working…most of all allow yourself to feel, goe through the pain, day by day allow it to soften and decide if you are going to allow it to consume you or work alongside it, bringing your awareness to stay in the moment and gently change the energy and make space to allow you to feel happiness in your life… we have to bring it to us..